


Sometimes ice cream is not your friend

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-19
Updated: 2009-08-19
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:07:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ice cream sitting on the counter is a good thing, right? Not always.<br/>Warnings: Rockso’s drugs collection</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes ice cream is not your friend

It was Murderface who saw it first, ice cream sitting out in bowls and ready to eat. There were four bowls, and there were four of them. (It would have been five, but they didn’t know where the hell Toki had run off to.) It was like fate.  
They each grabbed a bowl and started eating, noticing that it seemed to be some kind of speciality ice cream, Jean-Pierre must have made it for them. That was nice of him.  
Toki was going to be _really_ pissed that he missed out on this, it was really good.

They had just finished the last of it when Toki came running in, completely freaked out. “YOU EATS THE ICE CREAMS?!! YOU WASN’TS SUPPOSED TO EATS THE ICE CREAMS!!”  
Nathan held up his hands in what was supposed to be a calming manner. “Toki calm down, it’s just ice cream. There’s like, more in the freezer anyway. Just get some more.”  
“YOU DON’TS UNDERSTANDS!!”  
“Sheesh Toki, it’sh jusht ice cream. Chill out.”

“You don’ts understand, it’s _NOTS_ just ice creams! But we was just playings, nobody was supposed to _eats_ them!”  
Nathan scowled at that. “Playing with WHO?”  
He whispered, "With Dr. Rockso..."  
“What? Repeat that!”  
“I says... with Dr. Rockso....”  
Pickles just shrugged. So he’d get high, that was pretty much his plans for the day anyway, no big deal.  
The others seemed a lot more unsure.  
“Heys Toki, jus whats did yous put in dem anyways?”

Toki, still freaking out, started pacing the floor, trying to remember. “I don’t’s even knows what alls of it was! Who ates which ones?”  
Pickles grinned. “Mine jest had all these little pills mixed inta it.”  
“What the hell Pickles? You knew it was drugged and you ate it anyway?”  
“Of course! Why’d ya think I picked thet one in tha first place? So what were they?”  
“I has no idea. Good lucks with that Pickle.”  
“Eh, I’ll be fine, I’m pretty much immune ta all that crap anyway.”  
He wandered out of the room, going to find a comfortable place to spend his anticipated high.

Nathan was contemplating his empty bowl. “Uh, mine had some sort of alcohol in it.”  
“That’sh what mine had too. Whay kind wasch it?”  
“I don’ts know, couple different kinds. But one of them had-“  
That was when Murderface suddenly threw up and slid to the floor.  
“Oh shits! I guess he gets the heroins then. That means you’s probably okays Nathan, I don’ts think there was much else in the others one.”

What was left? Oh no... “Skwisgaar, please tells me you didn’t eats the white one...”  
“Pfft, dat didn’ts has nothings in its.  
Toki turned white. “Skwisgaar... how does you feel right nows?”  
“I’s fine. I feels pretty goods actualies, why?”  
“Because... PLEASE DON’TS KICKS ME OUT OF THE BANDS!”  
“”Was dere somethings in dat? Whats?!”  
“Skwisgaar, you just... you just eats a _whole_ lot of cocaine.”

Toki leaned against the counter, holding onto it. Nathan noticed him staring at the ceiling fan. “Uh Toki? What did you take?”  
“Nothings!”  
“Well then that damn clown must have slipped you something.”  
“DR. ROCKSO WOULDN’T DO THAT! HE’S MY FRIEND!”  
“Yeah he would. And I’m pretty sure you’re tripping.” Nathan held up three fingers. “How many fingers am I holding up?”  
Toki squinted at them, “Ummm... five?”  
Nathan sighed and pulled out his phone.

Charles answered his phone, and was surprised to hear Nathan. Usually when they wanted to say something to him, they just barged right in.  
“We uh, have a problem?”  
“What is it Nathan?”  
“Toki had that clown here again, and they like, drugged a bunch of ice cream for fun. And we ate it.”  
“What was in it? Are you all alright?”  
“Uh, different stuff. Pickles got some kinda pills, I don’t know where he went. He’s probably okay though. Murderface got heroin, and he’s like, passed out on the floor. Skwisgaar got cocaine, but he seems to be okay so far. If there was much of anything in the one I ate, it hasn’t hit me yet. And Toki’s tripping. He says he didn’t take anything, but he must have.”  
“Wait there for me.”

After a quick call to verify that Rockso was indeed long gone and one to alert the hospital wing that they were coming, Charles hurried down to the kitchen with a few large hoods.  
Indeed they had a situation here. Instructing the hoods to carry Murderface and verifying that the other three could walk, they all headed to see the doctor.  
Charles kept a close eye on Toki who did indeed appear to be high, but at least was calm at the moment.  
Soon they arrived.  
Charles made another call and left instructions to locate Pickles, but leave him alone as long as he seemed fine, and call if there was a problem. With his legendary tolerances, there wasn’t much risk.

Murderface was seen to first, clearly being the worst off. After verifying that he wasn’t about to die, they hooked him up to an assortment of monitors and turned to the others.  
Toki had developed a fascination with the ceiling. Nathan looked up, it was just a plain old regular ceiling. Whatever.  
A nurse brought in a bag of brightly colored toys they kept for rare times when a Klokateer’s kid came in. If he was as high as he was acting, these should entertain him. She dumped them out, and he turned to look.  
Squatting in front of them, he carefully reached out and gave one a quick poke. Feeling braver, he touched a few more.

The doctor examined Skwisgaar next. “Cocaine, right? You say you ate it mixed with ice cream?”  
“Ja.”  
“Well that’s good, it will slow the absorption. However, since we have no idea how much it was, you’ll need to stay here and be monitored as well, for a few hours at least. But I think you’ll probably be okay.”  
Skwisgaar just shrugged. If he had to stay, he’d stay. Maybe somebody would bring him a guitar. Not that he’d ever admit it, but it _was_ a little scary not knowing how much had been mixed in.  
Toki was still in corner, now holding a colored block like it was a baby chick or something. Skwisgaar couldn’t help wondering just what the fuck it looked like to him. Something alive, maybe?

Nathan was next. After much prodding and testing, he was pronounced pretty much fine. If he’d been drugged at all, it was a low dose and he was apparently in no danger.  
Since he didn’t have to be hooked up to machines, Nathan went to leave but Charles stopped him. “Nathan, I need you to stay.”  
“Why?”  
“Because of Toki. He’s calm right now, but if he freaks out, I need you here to hold him.”  
“Uh, why can’t our guys do it?”  
“They just won’t. And I know better than to try again myself, we’re too close in size and weight. Last time I managed, but just barely. You’re bigger, you can do it.”  
Nathan just grunted, but sat in one of the chairs to wait. Charles sat in the other.

After a bit, Toki got up and started wandering around the room, looking at things. He stopped in front of Skwisgaar, looking at him very strangely. “Takes it off.”  
“Guys? Dis ams making me de nervous. I don’t think he ams knowing who I ams.”  
Charles got up. “Nathan, be ready .”  
Toki moved closer to Skwisgaar. “TAKES IT OFF!”  
“Toki, what do you see? What do you want him to take off?”  
"Paints..." he muttered.  
“Dids he says pants? Pfft, I’s not taking mine pants off.”  
“Toki, what-"  
“PAINTS! THE FUCKINGS PAINTS!”

Skwisgaar cringed back, even as high as he was, he knew Toki was dangerous right now.  
“Nathan, grab him! Just try to keep him still!”  
He did, deciding to use his “hug therapy” hold, nobody’d ever gotten out of that one.  
Toki fought him hard, but Nathan was too big for him to throw off. Finally he just sagged there, but he wasn’t finished. He was just waiting for an opening.  
“Uh, aren’t you going to going to give him a shot or something? To calm him down?”  
The doctor shook his head. “Not unless we have no other choice. We have no idea what all he’s on, so adding another drug could be a very bad decision.”

Nathan didn’t really want to stand around holding Toki for however long this took. “This sucks.”  
Charles went over to the toy pile, choosing something to try to distract him with. Nathan requested something soft, not wanting to be bashed in the head with a wooden block.  
Finding some sort of squishy baby-looking toy (not having babies, he really didn’t know or care about it’s intended use), Charles dangled it in front of Toki. When he seemed interested, Nathan cautiously loosened his grip.  
With his attention span chemically erased, Toki quietly took the toy and went back to the corner where the other ones were.  
Crisis adverted.

The next few hours passed without incident, except they were all pretty bored. (Well, except for Toki.)  
Murderface was awake now, but still kind of out of it. The doctors announced that they would keep him overnight, just to be safe.  
Skwisgaar was free to go, luckily having never quite being in any real danger.  
Toki was acting a lot more normal now, but the doctors were keeping him too, for observation. But since he was no longer considered a threat, Nathan was now free to go.  
As Charles, Nathan, and Skwisgaar were walking back to the main part of the haus, Charles made a mental note to hunt down that fucking clown.  
This could _not_ happen again.

  
(what Toki saw when he looked at Skwisgaar)


End file.
